so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Randomize
