ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
