carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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