Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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