There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Enjoy the penises
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
