His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
