go do what you do best...puke behind churches
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
