I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
