Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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