I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
