she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So gin and wine won't be happening again
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
