We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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