my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
