one two three fourrrrnication!
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
