I'm so fucking centered right now
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
