Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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