I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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