I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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