just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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