either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
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