new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just sent this text using only my big toe
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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