Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
