i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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