so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
