please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
