guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
