i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
whose ass print is on the piano?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
