Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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