I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
