can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
