this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
