Life is so much better after having sex.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
