wrigley field is MILF paradise
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
