so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
