You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
