We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
