I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
