Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I want to fling myself into the sun
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
