Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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