I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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