i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
