I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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