Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
