i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
