no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Semen is not good for contacts.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
