She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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