Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
