Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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