Me. At least after what I've been through.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
