Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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