That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Do vagina's smell?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
