The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
